In August 2024, I took on a unique challenge in my equestrian journey: a riding lesson without a saddle or reins. I was nervous, and during the first half of the class, I struggled to fully relax and let my arms loosen. My instructor wisely observed, “It’s all about trust—trust the horse, trust yourself, and you’ll be able to let go.” And eventually, I did. It turned out to be one of the best riding experiences I’ve ever had.
This experience got me thinking deeply about the nature of trust—that delicate virtue that, as the saying goes, “takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” So, how then can we effectively build trust? And perhaps even more importantly, how can we make sure it lasts?
1️⃣ Expand Your Comfort Zone Gradually
I’ve purposefully put this tip first because, if there’s anything both research and my own experiences have shown me, it’s that building trust doesn’t happen overnight! It requires patience and self-compassion.
From traveling with a cane for the first time to navigating complex airports or advocating for specific needs—a lack of trust in your abilities often opens the door to anxiety. And that’s completely okay and very normal!
Overcoming anxiety is an essential part of building trust, but it’s best approached in small steps. In my experience, fear is easiest to manage in small doses. That’s why I believe it’s so important to challenge yourself while also respecting your boundaries.
Taking many small, successful steps will get you to self-trust faster than a giant leap that might send you tumbling back down the ladder (often, unfortunately, at a faster pace than the one you climbed with).
Here, the slowest road is the fastest road.
2️⃣ Who You Surround Yourself With Matters
Who are the biggest cheerleaders in your life? And perhaps a tougher question: who makes you feel insecure (other than,maybe, yourself)?
I once read that research suggests we’re a reflection of the five people we spend the most time with. While that number might vary for each of us, the people around us definitely shape our ability to trust ourselves in challenging situations.
Can I travel internationally? Am I capable of traveling alone? Will I feel confident enough to ask for help?
Surrounding yourself with people who believe in positive answers to these questions (or following inspiring people on social media!) makes it so much easier to believe in yourself. Don’t hesitate to create a little distance from those who try too hard to keep you “safe.”
Building self-trust isn’t something you have to tackle alone!
3️⃣ Learn Techniques to Handle Feelings of Discomfort
Let’s say you’ve built enough trust to take the plunge and finally book that trip—or take on another challenging project! What now? Should you expect everything to go smoothly right from the start?
Nope! No matter how prepared you are, I’ve learned things can always go sideways (especially while traveling). That’s why it’s useful to have a few techniques up your sleeve to manage feelings of discomfort. Being able to handle these moments (which are bound to happen anyway!) will boost your confidence for the next set of challenges.
Here are two examples of techniques you can try.
🎥 Create a Mental Empowerment Reel
You’re the director of your own life (yes, a little corny, but it’s true)! Even better, you can create a mini empowerment movie in your mind to replay during tougher moments.
So, what should go in this mental reel? Think of pivotal moments when you felt strong and overcame something challenging. Write them down in a notebook to remind yourself of how proud you can be of those moments. These memories are the fuel for your personal empowerment video!
Save it, and press play whenever you face an obstacle on the road!
🗣️ Practice Self-Encouraging Words
So they are there for you when you need them most!
I’ll admit… I used to find it a bit cringy to stand in front of a mirror and speak positive words to myself… but it really does work! Even if, at first, you don’t fully believe what you’re saying, words hold power—especially when repeated often.
I like to start my affirmations with phrases like “I choose…” or “I am.” These short phrases tend to be the most effective for me. Here are a few examples:
- I choose to trust.
- I choose to let go.
- I choose to take a chance.
- I am strong.
- I am allowed to feel fear.
- I am okay just as I am.
And now repeat after me 3 times: I am amazing for wanting to work on my self-trust!
The Insecure Road of a Chronic Condition
In closing, I want to emphasize that these tips extend beyond travel—they’re essential for building trust in all areas of life. For me, living with a degenerative eye condition has been an incredibly scary process. But the trust I’ve developed in my abilities helps me believe I’ll be able to handle the challenges that come my way as my vision continues to change.
You’ve got this! Let me know how it goes for you.
With love ❣️,
Marie
